Corny Jokes: 60 Clean Ones for Kids and Dads

Corny jokes are the ones where you see the pun coming a mile away and groan anyway. This page has 60 clean ones, sorted into kids, funny, cheesy, knock knock, Christmas and dad jokes, plus a free printable set of cut out cards. Every one is short enough to say out loud in one breath. Most are safe for a 5 year old, and a few are really for the grown up who has to read them with a straight face.

What makes a joke corny

There is no official rule, so here is the working one I used for this page. A joke is corny when the setup gives away the pun, the punchline is a small play on a word, and the whole thing is delivered as if it were serious. Nothing about it is clever, and that is the charm. A cheesy joke leans on food or a sweet, over the top line, and a dad joke is a corny joke told in a dad voice. The table shows how this page treats the three.

Type	What it sounds like	Jokes in this post
Corny	An obvious pun, told straight	1 to 24
Cheesy	Food puns and sweet, over the top lines	25 to 34
Knock knock	The same pattern, a name and a pun	35 to 42
Christmas	Holiday puns, safe for the dinner table	43 to 50
Dad	Everyday dad things, told with a pause	51 to 60

Age matters here. An article from The 74 says children do not really understand puns until around age 7, though they try them earlier. So a 5 year old may laugh at the voice and the face before the joke. That still counts. If you want plain jokes for that age, our page of jokes for 5 year olds is the better start.

Corny jokes for kids

These twelve are about things a child sees every day, such as a pencil, a lunchbox, a banana and a zipper. That makes the pun easy to picture, even if the wordplay takes a minute. Read the question slowly, hold up the real object if you can, and give the punchline a little wait before you say it.

Why did the pencil win the spelling bee? It really knew how to draw out the letters.
What did the bubble say to the bath? I’m just popping in.
What did the coat say to the zipper? You really hold me together.
Why did the puzzle piece smile? It finally found where it fit in.
Why was the swing so happy? It was always on the up and up.
Why did the banana wear sunscreen? It did not want to peel.
Why did the T. rex need help at the buffet? Its arms were too short for the dessert.
What do you call a sheep that sings? A baa-ritone.
Why was the lunchbox so popular? Everyone wanted to see what was inside.
What did the tooth say to the toothbrush? Thanks for always having my back.
Why did the cloud cry at the movie? It was a real tearjerker, and it was already full of rain.
What did the sleepy farmer say to the horse? Hay, time to wake up.

The tooth and toothbrush joke is the one I would use at bedtime, since it ends on a nice note. The T. rex joke is the best for a child who loves dinosaurs, and a child who laughs at it will usually ask for another dinosaur one.

Funny corny jokes

This group is for a slightly older kid or a grown up who likes a good groan. The puns are a step less obvious, and a few lean on a phrase that adults say all the time, such as a head above the rest or teed off. Try them at dinner, one per course, and see who groans first.

Why did the clock get detention? It kept wasting time.
Why did the lettuce feel so confident? It was a head above the rest.
Why did the pillow get a promotion? It was great at supporting the team.
What did the library say to the shy book? Come out of your shelf.
Why did the flashlight win the talent show? It really knew how to shine.
Why was the mirror so honest? It always reflected on things.
Why did the cow become a news reporter? She had the best moos.
Why did the vacuum get a promotion? It always cleaned up on the job.
What did one stair say to the other? Let’s step it up.
Why was the calendar so popular? It always had a lot of dates.
Why did the golf ball stay home? It was tired of getting teed off.
Why did the drum get sent to its room? It could not stop beating around the bush.

The mirror joke is my pick of the twelve, because the punchline works even if you only half hear it.

Cheesy jokes

Cheesy jokes are food jokes that try a little too hard, and they are a safe bet at the table. All ten are about food, and six are about cheese, the corniest food of all. Tell them when the real food is nearby. The macaroni joke lands best while the pasta is still on the plate.

Why did the cheese become a coach? It had a lot of gouda advice.
What did the grilled cheese say to the pan? Don’t worry, I’m just feeling a little melty.
Why did the macaroni go to the party? It heard there would be elbow room.
Why was the Swiss cheese so relaxed? It had plenty of holes in its schedule.
What did the cracker say to the cheese? You make me feel complete.
What did the mouse say to the cheesemonger? Brie serious, I’ll take it all.
Why was the cheese slice such a good friend? It stuck with you through thick and thin.
What did the pasta say to the sauce? Let’s get together and make a meal of it.
Why did the pizza go to school? To get a little more well-rounded.
Why did the pepper join the jokes club? It brought the spice to every punchline.

The gouda line is the one a child will repeat without knowing why it works. If the word sounds odd to them, say it out loud twice, once as the cheese and once as the word good.

Corny knock knock jokes

A knock knock joke is the easiest kind for a child to tell back, because the pattern never changes. These eight are on the corniest side of the format, the kind that makes a person say come on, that was terrible. Let your child be the one who knocks, and use the same serious voice every time. The corniest knock knock jokes are where you hear the loudest groans.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey doesn’t fit in the lock.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita borrow a pencil.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? Sherwood like to come in, if you don’t mind.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? Open the door.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla my dreams, I’ll open the door.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in here.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Pecan. Pecan who? Pecan someone your own size.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome.

The water joke is the best one to teach a younger child, since the punchline is a sentence they already say. The pecan one is for a child who can hear that a pecan and a pick on sound alike.

Corny Christmas jokes

Christmas is the one time of year when everybody wants a corny joke, and a few of these work well on a card or a gift tag. They are all clean, and none of them need a plot you have to explain. If your family also plays riddles at the table, our page of Christmas riddles has fifty to try.

Why did the Christmas tree get a promotion? It was always branching out.
What did the stocking say to the fireplace? I’ve been hanging around waiting for you.
What did the wrapping paper say to the tape? We are stuck together.
Why did the gift bow feel so special? Everyone said it was tied for first.
Why did the Christmas light go to therapy? It could not stop feeling burned out.
Why did the reindeer ace the exam? He studied his hoof off.
What did one ornament say to the other? You really know how to hang in there.
Why did the cookie cutter get so many compliments? It always made a great impression.

The stocking joke is my favorite of the eight. It is short, and a child can say it back on the first try.

Corny dad jokes

A corny dad joke is a corny joke that is about a dad thing, such as a grill, a remote or a garage. These ten are written about the small tasks that fill a weekend. They are all new to this page, and none repeat the ones on our best dad jokes list, so you can use both lists without hearing the same line twice.

Why did the dad put a thermometer in his pocket? He wanted to check the temperature of the room before telling a joke.
What did the dad say to the dead remote? I am not getting a signal from you.
Why was the grill the dad’s best friend? It always knew how to turn up the heat.
What did the dad say to the toolbox? You really have got it all together.
Why did the dad bring a pen to the pool? He wanted to draw a crowd.
What did the dad say when the car would not start? Well, that was a real turn off.
Why did the dad plant a clock in the garden? He wanted to grow some thyme.
Why did the dad put a nail in his pocket? Just in case he needed to hammer out a deal.
Why did the dad cut the sandwich in four? He wanted a square meal.
Why did the dad take a deep breath before the joke? He wanted to build up the suspense, and the groan.

The thermometer joke is the one to try first. It is about the joke itself, which gives you a little room to wait before the punchline.

Printable corny joke cards

The cards turn this page into something you can hand to a child. The PDF has all 60 jokes on cut out strips, ten to a page, with the question in bold and the answer under it. Cut along the dotted lines, shuffle the strips, and let each person pick one. The knock knock jokes take three lines on a strip, so they fit just as well.

Free download: Get the corny joke cards PDF with all 60 jokes on cut out strips

If the family also likes to play on a cold afternoon, try our winter children’s jokes, which come with their own joke jar. The file is for your own use, so please do not sell it or post it on another site.

How to tell a joke that is meant to groan

A corny joke lives or dies on the delivery. These are the habits I would use.

Straight face: The more serious you look, the better the groan.
Short setup: If you need more than one breath to ask it, the joke is too long.
Two beats: Stop for a moment before the last word. Do not rush it.
No explaining: If it misses, smile and move on.
Hand it over: Ask your child to tell it to someone else. Retelling is how a joke sticks.

One joke at a time is plenty. A second one right away steals the groan from the first, and the quiet before the groan is half of the fun.

Frequently asked questions about corny jokes

What is a corny joke?

A corny joke is a joke with an obvious pun and a predictable punchline, told with a straight face. It does not try to be clever. The groan it gets is the whole point, and that is why people keep telling them.

What are some corny jokes?

Two easy ones are what did the tooth say to the toothbrush, thanks for always having my back, and why did the banana wear sunscreen, it did not want to peel. Every joke on this page is corny, clean and short enough to say in one breath.

What is the difference between corny and cheesy jokes?

On this page, a corny joke is an obvious pun told straight, and a cheesy joke is a food joke or a sweet, over the top line. The two overlap a lot. Most people use the words for the same kind of joke.

Is a corny joke the same as a dad joke?

Almost. A dad joke is a corny joke told in a dad voice, usually about everyday things like a grill or a remote. Our best dad jokes page and the corny dad joke group on this page cover that side.

What age is a corny joke good for?

Kids around 5 to 8 enjoy them most. An article from The 74 says puns often click closer to age 7. Younger children will laugh at the silly voice, and older kids and adults enjoy the groan.

What is a good corny joke to start with?

Start with the tooth and toothbrush joke or the zipper joke in the kids group. They use things a child already knows, and both end on a friendly line.

Where can I print these jokes?

Use the free PDF on this page. It has all 60 jokes on cut out strips, ten to a page, and prints on US Letter paper.

Pick one joke tomorrow morning and say it before the shoes go on. Eeshan and Vihaan would ask for the T. rex one again by the time we reached the door, and the second time I would use the same straight face. That is all a corny joke needs.