Funny One Liner Jokes: 60 Clean Ones for Kids and Parents

Funny one liner jokes are the shortest jokes there are, a whole joke in a single sentence with the surprise right at the end. This page has 60 clean ones, sorted into kids, parenting, puns, clever lines, texts and lunchbox notes. Each is short enough to say in one breath. There is also a free printable set of 60 cut out notes, sized to fit in a lunchbox. I wrote every line here for this page, and none repeats a joke on our other pages.

What makes a one liner funny

A one liner, sometimes called a one line joke, packs the setup and the twist into one sentence. There is no question and no answer, so the whole thing depends on word order. The rule I used for this page is simple: the funny word goes last. Say the sentence out loud, and if the laugh comes before the final word, move it later.

The groups are my own sorting, not a rule. If you want jokes that use a question and an answer, our corny jokes page has 60 of those, and a one liner is the faster cousin.

Funny one liner jokes for kids

These twelve are about things a child sees every day, such as a kangaroo, a pencil, a puddle and a zipper. Each one is a picture first and a joke second, so a younger child can laugh at the picture even if the twist takes a moment. Read it slowly, then stop and let them fill in the last word. Our page of jokes for 5 year olds has more for that age.

1. A kangaroo is just a rabbit with a lunchbox attached.
2. Giraffes get the best view of the parade and the worst seat in the car.
3. Marshmallows are clouds that went camping and came back toasted.
4. I wanted to learn to juggle, but I kept dropping the idea.
5. A pencil with no eraser is just a very confident pencil.
6. A banana takes off its pajamas before breakfast, which is more than most kids manage.
7. Penguins wear a tuxedo every day, so every dinner is a fancy dinner.
8. A snowman never loses his cool, only his nose.
9. Spaghetti is the only food that can tie itself in knots and still taste great.
10. A zipper is the only train that stops at your chin.
11. The best thing about a puddle is that it gets deeper the moment you jump in.
12. A cat is a small tiger that has agreed not to eat the family, mostly.

The snowman line is the best for a child who likes to say it back, because the last word is the whole joke. The cat line is the one a parent will end up repeating at dinner.

Parenting one liners

This group is for the grown up in the room. The lines are about the small, repeating parts of family life, and none of them point at a real child. Say them to another parent and watch for the nod. They also work well as a text to a partner at 8 in the evening.

13. A toddler is a tiny boss who works nights and never pays overtime.
14. Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent finding the other shoe.
15. The quietest sound in the world is a toddler who is being too quiet.
16. Bedtime is the only meeting where the youngest person has the most questions.
17. Five more minutes is the national anthem of childhood.
18. A parent’s coffee goes cold the way a child’s room gets messy: instantly, and with no help.
19. Laundry is the only mountain a parent climbs every day without ever reaching the top.
20. I am not tired is what children say right before they fall asleep in the car.
21. A family road trip is a long way to hear are we there yet in six different voices.
22. Every child owns exactly one shoe at the moment you are late.

The shoe line is the one I would put on a fridge magnet. If you want longer jokes from the dad side of the house, our best dad jokes page is the next stop.

Pun one liners

A pun one liner plays on a word with two meanings, and the second meaning is the last word. They are the corniest group on the page, which is a compliment. Tell them with a straight face and a short pause.

23. The tailor loved his job because he always made ends meet.
24. The mirror and the window argued, but they could see right through each other.
25. The ocean is not shy, it waves at everyone.
26. The invisible man turned down the job because he could not see himself doing it.
27. The bread was in a great mood all week because it was on a roll.
28. A tree has perfect attendance because it never leaves.
29. The thesaurus is not just big, it is huge, enormous and vast.
30. A pencil sharpener always has a point to make.

The thesaurus line is my favorite of the eight, because it does what it says. It is also a handy one for a child who is learning new words.

Clever and deadpan one liners

Deadpan lines have no pun and no silly word. They state something that is a little too true, and the laugh is the nod. They suit older kids and adults, and they are clean. Say them in a flat voice, as if you were reading the weather.

31. The best way to find a missing sock is to buy a new pair.
32. A to-do list is just a wish list with a deadline.
33. Nobody has ever regretted a nap, only the alarm that ended it.
34. Wi-Fi is the one thing in the house that everybody notices only when it leaves.
35. A phone battery has two settings: fine, and one percent.
36. A password is only secure until you forget it.
37. Coffee does not solve every problem, but it makes the problems wait their turn.
38. A plan is just a surprise that has not happened yet.
39. The snooze button is the one promise you make every morning and break every morning.
40. Silence is golden, unless you are the one waiting for an answer.

The sock line is the one most parents will recognize. The snooze button line works best at breakfast, when everybody has just lived it.

Funny one liners to text

These ten are short enough to send in a message or use as a caption. They are mild and polite, so you can send them to a friend, a teacher or a grandparent without a second thought. Some are best at one moment, such as the running late line, which is only funny when you really are.

41. I would reply faster, but my phone and I are in a long distance relationship.
42. Running late. Please start the fun without me and save me a snack.
43. Good morning to everyone except my alarm clock.
44. I am on my way, which is a promise I plan to keep any minute now.
45. Sorry for the late reply. I was busy being a person.
46. Did you eat yet? Asking for a snack.
47. Be nice to the dishwasher. It is the only one who cleans up after me.
48. I am not ignoring you, I am just very bad at replying.
49. Today’s forecast: a 100 percent chance of coffee.
50. Please send snacks, good vibes, and a nap.

The reply line is a good one for the group chat, since almost everyone has been the slow replier at some point.

Lunchbox note one liners

A lunchbox note is a one liner with a job: make a child smile at noon. These ten are written to a child, so they are kind first and funny second. Each one fits on a small card, and the printable set below has them all.

51. You are the best part of my day, and I did not even have to pack you.
52. This lunch comes with one hug, which is invisible and does not spoil.
53. I hope your day is as good as the best bite of this lunch.
54. Today you will learn something new, and I will be impressed.
55. If you see a giraffe at school, say hi from me.
56. Remember, you are braver than the broccoli.
57. Your teacher is lucky to have you, and your lunch is lucky to be eaten.
58. If your lunch is cold, it is only because I wanted you to stay cool.
59. I will see you at 3 o’clock with a hug that is already packed.
60. You are one smart cookie, and this is a real cookie, so start there.

Eeshan and Vihaan would both go for the broccoli one, because it makes the vegetable the bad guy. A note that picks a fight with the food is usually a hit.

How to write a funny one liner

You do not need a joke book. A one liner starts as a true thought and gets trimmed until it is funny. Here is the order I would use.

• Start with something true: A pencil without an eraser is a pencil that cannot take back a mistake.
• Look for the surprise: What would a pencil like that be called if it were a person? Confident.
• Put the funny word last: A pencil with no eraser is just a very confident pencil.
• Cut every extra word: If the sentence still works without a word, remove it.
• Say it out loud: If you trip on it, the sentence is too long.

Try one together at dinner. Pick an object on the table and finish the sentence, this fork is just a spoon that, and let each person take a turn.

Printable one liner notes

The notes turn this page into something you can hand to a child. The PDF has all 60 jokes on small cut out notes, ten to a page, each about the size of a business card. Each has a line at the bottom for your name. Cut along the dotted lines, sign a few, and tuck one in a lunchbox, a coat pocket or a shoe.

Free download: Get the one liner notes PDF with all 60 jokes on cut out lunchbox notes

This file is for personal use only, so please keep it off other sites and out of any shop.

Frequently asked questions about funny one liner jokes

What is a one liner joke?

A one liner joke is a complete joke told in a single sentence. People also write it as funny one-liner jokes or funny one line jokes, and all three mean the same thing. The funny word usually comes last, and there is no question and no answer.

What are some funny one liner jokes?

Two easy ones are a kangaroo is just a rabbit with a lunchbox attached, and a snowman never loses his cool, only his nose. This page has 58 more, all clean.

Are these one liners clean for kids?

Yes. Every line is clean, and none of them have swearing, alcohol or adult themes. The parenting and clever groups are written for older kids and grown ups, but they are still family friendly.

Are there funny one liner jokes for adults?

The clever, parenting and text groups work well for adults. They are clean, so this page has no adults only list.

What is the difference between a one liner and a pun?

A one liner is any joke told in one sentence. A pun is a joke built on a word with two meanings. A pun can be a one liner, and the pun group on this page has eight of them.

How do you write a funny one liner?

Start with something true, find the surprise, put the funny word last, and cut every word you do not need. The step by step section on this page shows the pencil joke built that way.

Where can I print these jokes?

The free PDF above has all 60 jokes on cut out notes, ten to a page, and prints on US Letter paper.

Pick one line tonight and write it on a note for tomorrow’s lunch. Eeshan and Vihaan would find it before they found the sandwich, and I would pretend not to notice. A one liner only needs one sentence and one smile.